So much of the time we focus on the things that aren’t working in our lives, the things we want to change, the problems we need to solve.
I bet you can think of something right now that isn’t working the way you want it to. Think of a relationship with someone in your life that is frustrating you, at home or at work.
Chances are you can think of the things that person does that drive you crazy, or that are causing the problem or making it worse.
What if, for a moment, you thought about what you appreciate about that person?
Take a moment and think of something they do that you would love to see more of. Maybe there’s a way they have spoken to you, even if only once, that made you feel great. Or something they have done that you thought was kind, or smart, or helpful.
The simple fact of our experience is that what we pay attention to increases.
The practice for this week is that simple (oh but how hard it can be though!). Find one thing, even a tiny thing, that you appreciate about the person who is irritating you and then begin to pay attention to that.
The concept is called “fanning” as in fanning a flame – seek out ways you can reinforce the behaviour you want. Something as simple as acknowledging and expressing your appreciation can be enough. Try catching them doing something you like and tell them that. Be specific about what you appreciate in others, and see what happens. Like sun and good soil for a plant, feed the good so it can grow.